During my pregnancy, and then Jr's first nine months I lost track of my "plan" with Rose. I used to always have goals and go about achieving them. Then I just got too big, hormonal, and sleep deprived, and at some point just stopped focusing on Rose. My family says that this means I'm a good mom, focusing on Jr. more than my horse. Okay, yes, I guess that does. I'm glad that makes them happy. However, the same phrase tells me I'm a bad horse owner.
It's such a fine balance to between one's love of horses and love of family. Clearly I'm not going to put my horse above the well being of my child, but I can't neglect her either. During Jr's first nine months, I "tried" to get to the barn as much as possible. Some weeks that meant I would only get out there once, if at all. Quite often I would wonder why I should even bother riding her, since it wouldn't make any difference to ride her just once a week. I would still ride though. When I decided to put her up for sale I knew that she had to get back into shape and into serious work to sell, so into full training she went. Once her month of full training ended, I forced myself to get to the barn at least four days a week, in addition to EB riding her two days a week, she is now in consistent work again. Finding the time to ride hasn't easy, but then Jr. started sleeping through the night a few weeks ago, and life in general has gotten better. I also decided to start really focusing on Rose's ground work again too.
Somewhere during this process, I started making goals again and really enjoying working with my horse. It occurred to me, that I should always work with Rose like I am trying to sell her. She loves it, I love working with her and accomplishing new things, and everyone is happier. Well except Hubs, who has to be on baby duty for three hours, four days a week. Me? I get a blissful three hour break in my non-stop 24hr parenting routine where I get to focus on only one thing...my horse. Now if only the guilt I feel about taking up so much of Hub's time to go ride my pony would just subside. That would be great. Darn you Catholic guilt...go away you pesky guilt you.
Happy trails and swooshing tails!
•DS•
Follow my adventures as I bring a long an upper level dressage prospect, starting as a yearling.
Live and juggling life is tough that's for sure!
ReplyDeleteI admire your balancing act! Getting a horse at 40 is way different...children are grown...husband can tag along or do his own thing :)
ReplyDeleteWe've been married for 27 years and have one grown child. One thing we've always agreed on and that has kept this marriage successful was each of us having our "own space".
ReplyDeleteFor my husband that meant yearly hunting trips and his away from the house hobbies. For me it meant 'my' (our) horses, getting away to ride or spend time with them.
During our child rearing days I saw friends and family enter into conflicts because they 'measured' the equitable time they each got to get away. That measurement lead to hard feelings and even divorce.
For my husband and I, it has never been about who gets how much time, it's been about being able have your own space to do your own thing and know that your other half supported you. Kind of like if you scatch my back, I'll scratch yours. This alleviated any sense of guilt for getting a break and enjoying our outside interests.
I'd like to think our agreement about sharing time outside of the house was good for our daughter, who is a happy, independant, successful woman, whom her parents are very proud of. :)